So, my dad and I finally got to Austin after about 26 hours over a two day span of driving. It is so good to finally be here!! I LOVE road trips, but I think I've had my fill for a few months at least.
Today was great! Beth (the woman I'm staying with) showed my dad and I around a little, and then we went exploring on our own. For those of you who are wondering, the great dane I'm also living with is very friendly and we are getting along just fine.
Sometimes I wonder how many emotions are people able to feel at once? Is it possible to "feel" too much? If it is, then I definitely do. Somehow I feel a strange peace at the fact that I'm finally here and that I don't know anyone, but I also feel extremely anxious about having so many unknowns here. At the same time, I am overwhelmed by both the love of my friends and family and the loneliness of knowing I won't see some of my best friends for a long time.
I keep hearing a voice asking, "What the heck are you doing here!?!" I'm really not sure. All I know is I am here now, and God is working in my life to bring about His best.
I miss you all :)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Learning to Swim: Part 2
As the first real post on this blog, you might ask, "Why is this part 2?" Well, it seems God has a very similar lesson for me to learn as he did last year. Click here for Part 1.
This year, both Mikey (now six) and Danny (four) are attempting to learn to swim, and as I watch them I can't help but see myself in their experiences.
Danny is always very exited to go to the pool, but the water is still quite new to him. He will often say that going swimming is his favorite thing to do. Unfortunately, when we get there, it can take a good 15 minutes for him to put his foot in the water. And talking to him does little good. He says, "I don't want to."
"Are you scared?"
"No."
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Well, what is wrong then?"
"I can't do it, Aunt Cassie, and I don't want to."
It makes me wonder, how many times, do I look forward to and plan for something only to tell God, "I can't do it, and I don't want to try." When I think of all the excuses Danny comes up with (believe me he is extremely talkative), I am amazed until I realize that I probably have more. I know God has amazing plans for me. But so many times I dangle my toe in the pool and say, "I don't feel like it. In fact, it will probably make me sick." or "God, you know I can't do this, why would you ask me to?" God gently whispers in a small still voice, "Do you trust me?" I am forced to ask the same question of myself as I do of Danny - "Well, what is wrong then?"
And then there is Mikey (smile). He is the seemingly brave child who will jump into the shallow end (where he can stand) and put his whole face underwater. He is excited to try new things, but as soon as his toes can't reach the bottom of the pool, he clings to me with a death grip. I've never experienced a fifty pound child latched on to my right arm and leg like that before, haha. The embrace is normally accompanied by screams to take him back to where he can stand. It doesn't matter how many times I tell him that he will be fine, he will inevitably start freaking out. And I return him to the shallow end.
I feel like everyday I go to God freaking out in this same manner. "God, I can't feel the bottom!" And while clinging to God is essential, why is it that I need to hold on to something instead of listening to his voice?
I told my nephews about how much fun playing with my dad in the pool was, but my dad quickly responded that they needed to be more mobile in order to play any games. It makes me wonder, how often God has to say that to me. What is God longing to show me if only I will trust him enough to listen?
My sister's friend as a three-year-old son who is also learning to swim, but his experiences are slightly different. One day he was at the pool and he saw his aunt in the deep end. Overwhelmed with excitement, he ran and jumped into the 7 feet deep water right into her arms. He didn't question it. He knew without a doubt that she would catch him.
Oh, to trust God like that! To jump in over our heads knowing that He will catch us. This is my prayer as I "jump out" in faith to Austin, that I will know He will always catch me.
This year, both Mikey (now six) and Danny (four) are attempting to learn to swim, and as I watch them I can't help but see myself in their experiences.
Danny is always very exited to go to the pool, but the water is still quite new to him. He will often say that going swimming is his favorite thing to do. Unfortunately, when we get there, it can take a good 15 minutes for him to put his foot in the water. And talking to him does little good. He says, "I don't want to."
"Are you scared?"
"No."
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Well, what is wrong then?"
"I can't do it, Aunt Cassie, and I don't want to."
It makes me wonder, how many times, do I look forward to and plan for something only to tell God, "I can't do it, and I don't want to try." When I think of all the excuses Danny comes up with (believe me he is extremely talkative), I am amazed until I realize that I probably have more. I know God has amazing plans for me. But so many times I dangle my toe in the pool and say, "I don't feel like it. In fact, it will probably make me sick." or "God, you know I can't do this, why would you ask me to?" God gently whispers in a small still voice, "Do you trust me?" I am forced to ask the same question of myself as I do of Danny - "Well, what is wrong then?"
And then there is Mikey (smile). He is the seemingly brave child who will jump into the shallow end (where he can stand) and put his whole face underwater. He is excited to try new things, but as soon as his toes can't reach the bottom of the pool, he clings to me with a death grip. I've never experienced a fifty pound child latched on to my right arm and leg like that before, haha. The embrace is normally accompanied by screams to take him back to where he can stand. It doesn't matter how many times I tell him that he will be fine, he will inevitably start freaking out. And I return him to the shallow end.
I feel like everyday I go to God freaking out in this same manner. "God, I can't feel the bottom!" And while clinging to God is essential, why is it that I need to hold on to something instead of listening to his voice?
I told my nephews about how much fun playing with my dad in the pool was, but my dad quickly responded that they needed to be more mobile in order to play any games. It makes me wonder, how often God has to say that to me. What is God longing to show me if only I will trust him enough to listen?
My sister's friend as a three-year-old son who is also learning to swim, but his experiences are slightly different. One day he was at the pool and he saw his aunt in the deep end. Overwhelmed with excitement, he ran and jumped into the 7 feet deep water right into her arms. He didn't question it. He knew without a doubt that she would catch him.
Oh, to trust God like that! To jump in over our heads knowing that He will catch us. This is my prayer as I "jump out" in faith to Austin, that I will know He will always catch me.
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