I find that relationships have taken over most of my thoughts. Issues in friend's lives, issues I see in my life. I find myself absorbed in questions: Why do they think that? Why do I think differently? Which is right? Why am I so annoyed by them? Why do I like them so much? Why are we all so shallow and deceived? When will we ever actually love each other the way we were made to? Why do we all feel so alone but never let anyone in?
I could probably go on with questions for the rest of the morning, and each question could have it's own essay, or book for that matter. I so desperately want to understand. I want to fix the problems so we can live in unity. But the more I understand, the more I become depressed about our broken state of being.
Ecclesiastes 1:13-18
I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under
the heavens. What a heavy burden God has laid on mankind! I have seen all
the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a
chasing after the wind.
"What is crooked cannot be straightened;
what is lacking cannot be counted."
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief."
So what do we do then? I mean isn't the unevaluated life not worth living? And isn't wisdom better than folly?
And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
But better than both
is the one who has never been born,
.......
This only have I found:
God created mankind upright,
but they have gone in search of many schemes.
......
Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.
So I guess I got a little carried away with Ecclesiastes, but I have to say it is one of my all-time favorite books. Somehow there is freedom in knowing everything is meaningless - a chasing after the wind. There is peace in knowing "the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind."
