So with all the things going on in my life I'm not sure why this is standing out so much, but it is. This morning all my worries and fears and frustrations built up into one pervasive question. How? More specifically, how do I trust God?
I was singing that song the other morning -"Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus." I've always been astounded by the chorus which sings, "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust thee, how I've proved him o'er and o'er." Who can really say, "I trust God SO much. Just look, I have trusted him so much that I have proved he is faithful." I wish I could say I have that type of trust, that type of faith.
This morning I sat down to spend some time with Jesus, and somehow got distracted with looking for a job online. As I applied for what could be the perfect Nannying position, I began to pray that God's will be done - that he would work everything out in the best way possible. But I can't help but have these nagging doubts. The haunting "what ifs" hang over my head. How is it that I can make these plans and decisions, but God is still sovereign? If I am the one acting, how is God controlling? I know that theologians have debated this question for thousands of years, and I will probably never really understand, but I have to ask myself how is it that we truly trust God?
And then along with that question comes another: what does trusting God look like acted out in my life? Should I try my best, work really hard, and focus on worldly and moral success hoping and trusting that God will bless my efforts? Or should I get lost in the joy of spending time with God and his people - believing that I don't need a job because God is faithful? Should I take huge leaps of faiths that make people think I'm crazy expecting God to do the impossible? I'm convinced that trusting God should change my life, but I still don't think I understand how.
So, how does a person trust God? More importantly, how do you trust God?
